Memories of today can determine the future,
Looking back in time in search of things that we are willing to change,
But, in fact it is already a reality,
No matter how hard we try to undo the past,
Nothing will ever change even if we will it with all our might,
What we change is the present,
Still lingering thoughts and memories will always sway your heart,
Even though I remained unchanged as season pass,
Should you see from afar,
Yet, in heart so many thoughts keep weighing it down,
A smile certainly can disarm a person's thinking,
When looked from another view,
Those exteriors are all just affront,
To keep you at bay,
My world is dark and cloudy,
It rains and pours, still no shine,
How I wish to break free from this life,
But walls and fortresses weren't build overnight,
While tears remain unshed,
Passing smiles are easier to be dealt,
Live life in now or ever,
This path I grow weary with all that's left,
Words left unspoken are the one's that echo's,
In mind and thought are empty no hope,
As I aimless go throughout this life,
No joy, no tears shall I greet in time.

Forgetting~

People always forget about the things that they have in life until it is suddenly taken away from them.
When it's too late to say words that should've been said earlier, but we keep making excuses for not saying them. Like saying I love you to our parents, Thank you for bringing me up. Things that we find embarrassing to say them out loud and assume that they know what truly lies in our heart. People aren't mind readers for sure, if it were true then there'd be no sadness or war in this world. We believe that words doesn't have the power to move people, yet when we read about people's story we feel what they are trying to share in their writing ( or is it just me? ). I miss my mother the most, I can't say them out loud. I fear that those words once said can lead to other things. I really don't like to upset other people with my words or actions. Emotionless as I seem to other people, only I know the truth on what I feel. I can't say them out loud, it might burden others, it would probably make me feel weak. Which, I am. With some people I can open up and tell them about things that happen around me but true feelings are so hard to be expressed. Sadness, happiness will just pass by like season's change. Subtly changing without notice. People do to. Happiness is near yet far at the same time. Grasping for it, still slipping out of my hand all the time. Certainly a state of mind, happiness that is. Smile, laugh, smile some more, laughing again till one day when things will just come naturally to you. Forgive me for rambling here, age certainly changes one's perspective in life.