Downturn

Lately I've been feeling a lil' bit down,
maybe depressed,
there's so many maybe's in my life now,
there's no steady ground where i'm standing now,
sometimes it feels that my world is cracking into pieces,
the parade of faces that i see,
the emotionless smiles,
the fake happy attitude,
it's eating me up,
last Wednesday I went home,
I met a neighbor of mine,
we chatted, suddenly she said " just ask your father to remarry "
Deep down, I wish I could just scold her back,
it's only been 4 months,
do you even know how it feels?
do you know what we're going through?
What I'm going through?
The person who always support me isn't here,
How it affects my studies,
how rebellious I feel towards the world,
as close as I am to my friends,
I still feel distant with them,
As much as I want to grow up and move on,
It's not that simple.
Life's never that simple.
The optimistic me is slowly losing towards the pessimistic,
How I wish to be a stronger person.