Two engagement = tired + envy

As you know,
my big brother & my older sis got engage last weekend,
it was hectic, it was fun,
a lil sad, a lil bit of envy,
a new chapter has ended,
a new chapter in life begins.

I haven't opened a new chapter in life,
no changes that has come across me,
I am the same,
however a friend has left my side,
I cherish my friends & it seems that they never can trust me,
& it seems I'm someone that is easily left behind,
I appreciate people who are honest to me,
When I thought I knew her well,
life throws me a curve ball,
& it made me see that I'm too loyal to people,
and that makes the people that are beside me find it very easy to walk away from my life,
I feel sad, for a friend that I've known for 4 years,
doesn't have the courage to tell me that she's moving out.

I think that I'm a very reasonable person,
I can be understanding, however never trusted by people around me,
Maybe I won't ever be understood by people.

I find that very hard.